Complaint / review text:
Ten years ago i met a woman and 3 months later she was pregnant with my daughter. The following year she became pregnant again, with my son. When she was six months pregnant she started acting different and we split up. After my son was born, we got back together. We were togeter for about 3 months and then she left again.
At first, i couldn't understand what had gone wrong so fast, but i soon found out the real reason for our split. She had met a man at the resturant were she worked when she was pregnant with my son. They had started seeing each other which lead to our first split. He decided to go back to his wife and she came back to me. 3 months later he split with his wife again and she left me for him. I found all this out when i went to see my kids and found him sitting on her couch. She had led me to believe we were trying to work things out for the kids sake.
Over the past 9 years i have had to argue with her everytime i want to see my kids. She comes up with every excuse. She has moved my kids to his house in Lenoir. It is a 45 min. Drive each way. I am a good father who pays my child support and loves spending time with my kids. I am in a happy relationship now and have a daughter who is 4. She is also being hurt by my ex's decision to keep my kids from me as much as possible. She loves her brother and sister. I pay over $560 a month for kids i have to beg to see.
What makes all of this even harder is that the money isn't even being spent on my kids. I was out of work for 2 months and when i found a new job and paid my child support up she took the money and bought a new 52 inch tv. She sends my kids to my house with holes in the knees of their pants and dirty old shoes. She is always asking for money for clothes and anything else she wants for them.
I tell her that is what child support is for. She has a very good job at mdi in the adverising dept. And her now husband has a very good job also. They own a home and drive a new car, while i rent and drive a used car. The nc child support program is very unfair to fathers. The mother has the social services to represent them in court, if the father can't afford a lawyer they are out of luck.
My case was up for review a few months ago and i had just started my new job and had turned my first check stub in. The worker called my new boss and he told her i had the potential to earn alot more than i had on that stub so she bullied me into not fighting the order in court. She said that if i brought my stubs before the judge she would tell the judge i could earn more and i would wind up pay even more support than i do now.
I am still making what i was on the first stubs. The figure that my boss gave her is the figure the company gives employees to get them to come work for them. Is there any help out there for a father who doesn't have the money for a lawyer. I want to see my kids on a regular basis, not on my ex's terms. If the child support program is going to help mothers get money, they should help fathers get visitation. Having their father is more important than money.
I do not have a problem paying a fair amount of support, but there should be a way to make sure the kids are the ones that the money is spent on. Its child support not adult support. My kids should not have to wear worn out clothes, while she and her husband watch a 52 inch tv. Im sorry if this comment is to long, but this has been a hard 10 years. I didn't leave my kids and i am not a dead beat dad. Wheres the justice.