In early March I ordered two conversion kits from Jonathan Arthur Ciener, Inc., an AR-15 conversion kit and one for my AK-47. One was promptly delivered, but with a 10 round magazine rather than a 30. He (falsely) claimed on the invoice that it is illegal to sell 30 round magazines to residents in Illinois. Funny, as a police officer, I regularly use 30 round magazines with my duty rifle. The not so funny part is that even had this been an honest mistake, it has been over a year and I'm still waiting for the $20 difference between the cost of the 10 round magazine from the 30. Far worse than any of this is that it has been over a year and I still have not recieved my AK-47 conversion kit. Even after identifying myself by mail as a police officer requiring my conversion kits for proper training, he refused to honor my order. I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, but he ignored their inquiries as well. Much later I began drawing up psychological profiles of him, and left them on his answering machine.
Like most serial killers who are interested in the manipulation, domination and control (the torturing as opposed to the kill), I explained on his answering machine, I figured Cienner's not accepting credit cards allows him to grab the money, then allowing him to enjoy the sedistic pleasure of hearing all of the complaints due to the suffering he causes honest people, all the time masterbating himself. After months and months of calling every hour, every day, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times, burning up his answering machine (because he never answers), affecting the White-Trash, In-Bred, Hill-Billy, Red-Kneck accent each time I called, he finally answered up. "Listen A*hole, " he said to me, "You bedder stop callin' dis (F-n') phone number o I gonna caw yo precienct!" I explained that in Chicago we have districts, not preciencts. Nevertheless, I offered up my district address and phone number, as well as the names of the supervisory staff, encouraging him to contact them. I don't think that he heard me though, because he kept swearing and screaming like a sexually repressed chronic masterbater about how my phone calls were a form of harassment, and that he would call the police if I persisted.
Asking again and again about the delivery date of my order, he sacreamed, "Yo be a psycho, " and hung up the phone. I immediately called again, resulting in another, "Yo be a psycho!" I called again. Affecting a childlikeand feminine tone (like a Na-Na, Na-Na we've all used as preadolescents), he repeatedly screamed, "Psycho! Psycho! Psycho, " hung up the phone, and disconnected his answering machine. I will swear on my mother's grave (dead 4 1/2 years now, God rest her soul), this is exactly what this "Businessman" did and said! I wrote him a very pleasant and professional letter, allowing him to save face like a man while allotting him 7 to 10 business days as of March 1 to make the delivery. If he fails. I will call every day until the day either I die or he does! I am to conversion kits what Rosa Parks was to buses! No exaggeration! Anyway, I am open to any and all Class-Action Lawsuits, and will offer advice as to how to get underneath this guy's skin. I got to the Son-of-a-B*tch! It took months and months of arduous hours of persistance. But when he answered screaming, he gave me the edge.
0 comments