The job market's been dry, so I thought I'd try something new. I've worked in a lot of startups, so pulling up to a tiny windowfront in Scholls Business Center didn't put me off. Visibly new equipment is par for the course. I was surprised by my first impression: usually it's the volume of the paperwork that's noticeable, not the radio. The RISK poster facing me was, I thought, unnecessary.
I withheld my Social Security number, but put in the other information. Why did they want to know my car make & model?
Another person came in and also filled out the application, and a tall young blond man who introduced himself as "Jerry" fetched us into an office. The only question asked was, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how aggressive are you?"
I said, "Well, I could be like Boudicca and put scythes on my chariot before I drove through the Romans."
"So that's a 10." "Maybe a 9." The other applicant discussed a conviction for burglary in front of me—didn't have much of a choice—the question was on the application, and he had to discuss it. He was told that this would be a problem for the warehousing job he was applying for, but that they'd get back to him. He left.
I wish him luck. And I wish he had not been humiliated in front of a total stranger. I don't need to know if this person has a criminal record. Is this even legal?
The interview that followed was surprising: when I asked what the relationship was between Premiere Books Direct, which had placed the ad I was responding to, and Wheeler Imports, the young man assured me that I was confused. I cheerfully agreed and asked for clarification, but got none. I asked what a day on the job would be like, and he offered to schedule one next week—from 9:30 to 6:30. Compensation wasn't offered. He told me compensation was $40,000, could go to $80,000 for managers. Sales training would last 30 days.
None of this was written down. He handed me a business card—cheap and new, for JSM International—which didn't have a name on it.
This isn't usually how such positions are presented... 20 minutes into a conversation with no exploration of the candidate's match, other than, "How aggressive are you on a scale of 1 to 10?"
I really wanted this to be what it purported to be: business-to-business sales of quality merchandise, so I stifled my doubts.
"I couldn't find you on the web, " I said. "Wheeler Imports seems to be a car dealer."
"You're just confused, " said the young man brightly. He walked me through a wall full of pictures of successful people who all have their own offices, and described one Aubrey Castile as a former employee of COMSYS who had unwittingly trained his own replacement and then been fired.
Odd, I thought, that's just what I would tell someone with a background in Corporate America about why it's good to work for yourself.
I looked at the desk: scratched and worn. No startup I've ever been in failed to buy decent desks. I began to count the number of sales techniques that I saw "Jerry" using:
1. Repeated my name periodically.
2. Maintained close, intense eye contact.
3. Told me what I wanted to hear.
4. Let me "sell myself" by rationalizing how it could be possible to sell merchandise worth having for 75% off.
5. Made fun of me when I asked a clarifying question.
On reflection, the subliminal messaging was very clear: a big RISK poster faces you, and the pictures of the "successful people" in the "manager's" office are organized into a pyramid. I couldn't miss the message if I tried.
0 comments