When my relation died I called Vance-Brooks Funeral Home in Columbus Georgia. They said $3,600 to cremate and get 3 copies of the Death Certificate. I said "Too much." They said OK $2,400. I said "Let me call you back." I called the Cremation Society. They said they could get a local funeral home to do the cremation for $1.275. I said "Great!" My relation died with no money, no will, and I could not afford to spend much. Much to my surprise the Cremation society told me the funeral home would be no other than Vance Brooks (surprise). I live in Virginia and could not travel to Georgia.
5 days later my relation arrive, cremated, in a navy blue box with a cremation certificate. No death certificate (I ordered and paid for three). A week went by and still no Death Certificates. I called the funeral home and had a nasty discussion with someone who informed me that until the Cremation Society paid them I could whistle Dixie for the DC's (Death Certificates). Thus the hostage negotations began.
Round one: I called the Cremation Society and they said that they pay out monhly and that this is a standard contract with the Funeral Home (FH). I asked if they would please pay early because having my dead relative in my garage is creepy. They said they would. I called the FH and the same fool then told me that the DC had not been signed and that as soon as it was he would make sure I got it. I asked for the Doctors name so I could call he and explain. He said that I would just piss of the Doc and I would never get them signed. I asked he to call for (his job, Right!) Would not do it till he got paid.
Round two: Over then next few day I received several calls from the lovely lady at the Cremation Society checking to find out if I got the DC's. (No) It has now been 2 weeks with a creepy garage. I called the FH back and was told that the DC still had not been signed. I asked if they had been paid? Yes! I asked why don't I have them. I'll check was his reply.
Round three: Now 3 weeks post dead and still no paper! I really want her our of my garage. We need to make arragements to place her with her parents. Need the DC. Called the Cremation Society and they called the FH. FH reported that they had them and would mail them. Promised: Put them in the mail in the morning. Guess what? No DC. Called again. Was told that they were taken home by employee and would be in mail by Friday.
Round four: Week four, no DC. Called again and was told that they would be overnighted and I would have them by Thursday. Want to guess what happened? I can see you nodding, your are right NO DC. I called again, this time the answer was more creative (No the dog did not eat them) the owner said he put them in the mail, himself, wth his own two little hands, on the previous Monday. Well I still don't have them.
This is no way to run a buisness. All kidding aside, this company has caused me much grief. I can't go forward and lay her to rest until I have the Death Certificates and make arrangements to lay her with her parents in New York. I has been almost 30 days since she passed and I can't believe they have behaved this way. For a buisness that deals with people in pain they have sure ignored mine.
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