What do you do when the system does not work? I do not believe there is an answer to this question. My ex-husband and I were told we needed to seek co-parenting counseling by the Family Relations division of the Superior Court. He has refused to comply unless it is free of charge for him. The court did not make this an order, so, technically he is not in contempt.
The G.A.L. Is well aware of what is going on and will not to do anything to remedy the situation. Which leads me to believe that the individuals involved in this matter either believe that this relecant behavior is acceptable and in the best interest of the child or they are just lax in their duties.
The G.A.L. Sent me an email that stated, short of going back to court for new orders I don't know what else can be done if % will not cooperate He continues to state, I can only monitor to see what is in % best interest... Certainly, the ideal is an open and free flow of communications and cooperation between the two of you. Am I to believe that this is in our childs best interest? How can there be a free flow of communication when he refuses to try to get help and the others will not enforce the rules they set?
His Attorney sent me a fax that stated, We will not agree to a counselor not covered under your insurance." In a conversation I had with my ex-husband on May 27, he stated that he would not go unless it is free of charge to him. Just so you know, we have been told that if we cannot come to an agreement, then our child will be taken away and put in foster care.
As they are well aware, I have attempted to come to many agreements (in and out of court and all of which he has broken). Then, they tell me there is nothing they can do about it unless we go back to court. When these issues first arose, I was told by the G.A.L., that he was there to play the role of Solomon. If I remember correctly, the story of Solomon, goes like this, Solomon had to judge a case involving two women who claimed that the same baby was theirs. Solomon said he would split the baby in half. One woman was OK with that decision. However, the other woman begged Solomon to give the live baby to the other woman. This is how he knew who the real mother was. From my experience, what is happening with us has nothing to do with Solomon.
My experience tells me that Im damned if I do and damned if I dont. It is apparent to me that these rules only apply to me. He can do as he pleases. Now, can someone explain to me how this is in the childs best interest? My thoughts are maybe this is happening because I am the only woman involved in this case. Is there anyone out there who can help? Or, will this go on forever? Because the lawyers just keep telling me to go back to court instead of taking measures to ensure these issues do not continue to occur.
I am obviously frustrated with this lack of concern and one-sided behavior the Judicial System has. I have tapes (voicemails) of him contradicting what the information he puts on the court ordered informational papers. They have not held him in contempt. I have had to go to his house and pick-up my daughter because he refused to bring her home. He has picked her up with a hangover and the only thing I'm told is that's OK as long as he wasn't drinking while with her.
He has brought her home with athletes foot several times. He brought her home with cat pee in her shoes, feces on her pants, with diapers that were so full of urine, I was soaked just by taking her from him. She has come home from his house with yeast infections.
He left our daughter with an ear infection for the weekend without taking her to the doctors (or calling the doctors) arguing that he promised his parents he would visit them. He has broken the doctors orders as well and then, went into their office and lied.
One of our daughters doctors pulled me out of work, not, because there was anything wrong with her, but because he refused to communicate openly and honestly. And, now, he has decided that whatever clothes of his she's wearing when she comes home need to be taken off immediately and given to him. Why bother when I send clothes with her that he keeps instead of putting them on her. What can I do? The next step for me is that I am considering leaving the State of Connecticut because if the lack of Justice they have.
Not that this is necessarily important, but our first co-parenting counselor didn't want anything to do with us after he refused to take notes and I had to report the ex-husband to the police for stating that he and his friends were following me and that he was also paying other people to follow me.
Afraid of retaliation for this report.
Need Help
U.S.A.
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