If you like bending over and taking it up the tailpipe then Alan Staker is your man!!! I gotta say there is nothing I love more than finding out two weeks before my wedding that my cake guy who is under contract with me to provide me a flippin' cake has skipped town with my money and has no intention to fulfill his part of the contract. It's kind of like sliding down a bunch of rusty razor blades and landing in a pool of lemon juice and salt.
In fact I can't imagine anything more special and precious than spending hours on the phone right before my wedding trying to figure out if my wedding cake vendor is still alive and if he is if he's planning on actually showing up to my wedding with my freakin' cake. If I had the option of running anyone over with my car it would be Alan, and I would do it with the smile of a woman who just came across a group of sailors who'd been at sea for 6 years with nothing but a boat and a stick of pepperoni.
So - future brides, if you would like several years taken off your life wondering if your cake guy is actually going to show up, at your wedding, with your cake, than Alan Staker from Dark Fine Foods is your guy.in my opinion, the name of his business should be "Dark - never gonna be there I'm gonna take your money and run off to Mexico where I spend it on a house boy named Pedro who like small fans, goats and a lot of cream cheese - Fine Foods". I tell ya kids - nothing better than taking it up the tailpipe - makes you realize how the world actually works and that people simply cannot be trusted no matter what the legal consequences are.
Alan Staker is not a pastry chef; he is a monkey in a white coat and I just happened to be young and stupid enough to believe that because he had a booth at the Phoenix Bridal Show that he was an actual chef. He is a joke of a human being who should be put in a jail cell and be made to bend over and take it up the tailpipe like he made myself and so many brides before me do. Hey Alan, be sure and let me know where you and Butch are registered.
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