The company hires young people to do their dirty work. The kids fall for the team atmosphere and are anxious to please their bosses without regard for ethical behavior. The kids burn out and quit as the screwed clientele complains, or else are pushed out of the company, which gives the company deniability. "It wasn't us, we're victims here just like you—that kid was out of control!"
Example one was our salesman, a tiny fellow named Ryan. He was a compulsive liar, but I don't believe he knew he was lying about the one thing that got us to buy our three year membership. We considered joining a club that was a 25 mile drive from home because the pool was supposedly geared to real swimmers and was kept at 82 degrees. That was good, but not good enough to make me commit to three years of that kind of commuting. Where do we live he asked. We told him and he said we were in luck, that a new club was being built just five miles away from our house. He told us about a specific site, which we knew to be vacant and told us about a very specific construction time line. We verified his story with three other employees all of whom repeated exactly the same details. I did not attempt to get this in writing.
Operations Manager Jayme L Carlson, tells me that Ryan was a criminal mastermind and not only invented all of these details, but somehow also convinced everyone on staff to go along with repeating them. I guess that's possible. It seems somewhat more likely, however, that the club management lied to the employees about new locations. Jayme was so nervous about this issue that I have to believe the club has already been confronted by local authorities about this tactic. She is a sad, sweet little creature. She looks like somebody's battered wife, the way she flinches and twitches when confronted by stories about the clubs operations. She appreciated that I kept my temper and was able to be friendly as I talked to her, and she made it clear that usually people are not like that. If she could personalize her business card, I believe she would include the phrase "Please don't yell at me."
After my wife and I purchased our membership, little Ryan, our salesman came running out to our car with tears in his eyes. He had written our contract so as to give both of us 6 personal training sessions, which is what he promised. Harrison, the GM told him that only one of should get the six and to fix it or else. We went back in because the little fellow was just so pathetic, and anyway neither of us really cared about working with a personal trainer. Harrison took over the re-writing of our signed contract, but clearly he was hired to look pretty and not for his skills with a computer.
As the minutes dragged past I suggested that since they already had my money, we could sign our new contract the next time we came in and be on our way, as we had an appointment across town. I was sitting on a couch ten feet away from Harrison, looking at him through the open door of his office.
Suddenly, a microcephalic wall of muscle named Scott Simms appeared, stepped up to the couch and planted one massive leg directly between my legs, so as to prevent me from standing, and announced to the room: "This guy? He don't got nowhere to go!" I am sorry if my language is overly dramatic, but if this behavior does not fit the legal definition of the word kidnapping, I would like to be so informed. I wanted to be done with the process of shopping for a gym, and I knew I would be finished with this pack of assholes in only six months, but I have never stopped regretting that at that moment I did not scream for the arrival of the police.
My next encounter with Mr Simms was after my wife was injured working with a personal trainer. I have never understood how any company can undertake the liability of offering personal training that is not overseen by a qualified sports medicine professional. The kids hired to give these classes have only a few hours of training and the human body is a very delicate machine. I have a physical therapist and a chiropractor who are both willing to appear in court and give their opinion of the exercise that injured my wife, that every personal trainer in the gym was instructing their clients to perform at that time. Not only would they not attempt the exercise themselves, they also would not advise anyone, regardless of fitness level to attempt this exercise.
After the first month of treatment, when it became obvious that my wife was dealing with something worse than a strained muscle, I called the gym to report the injury and spoke with Assistant Manager Simms. The first half of what he had to say is a load of crap, but the rest of it might be the best advice that anyone at the facility ever gave me. All I had asked for was the name of their insurance company so that I could file our medical bills for reimbursement. His response: "We got no liability for that kind of thing! You don't like it, get a lawyer and sue us!"
Sound advice, Mr Simms, wherever you are. That guy managed to hang around for a whole six months.
Mark
phoenix, Arizona
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