8 days ago, my wife and I learned that we had come into a bit of money from her deceased Uncle Tom. We thought with the extra capital we could get a new car. I was intrigued by KIA's "no nonsense" approach and from their commercials the cars always looked real shined up and super fast, like they were raring to go right off the assembly line. My 6 year old son, Lexington, thought that the free "Lord of The Rings" DVD they were offering during a test drive was super cool. So, we headed down there last Saturday.
I wanted a red Sportage but my wife wanted the blue Rio. I almost lost it right there, I wanted to hit her so badly. Sure, it was her Uncle Tom but I really, really wanted the Sportage and she knew that. There were a lot of people looking at us so I let it go. A dealer came up to us and asked us weird questions like where we were from and what the name of our boy was. Way too inquisitive for a car dealer so I asked to see a different dealer. He got a little upset, but I'm not taking any chances.
Soon, Toby came up to us. He was wearing a super nice suit and had a nice smile. We took to him right away, even Lexy said he was hot. LOL!:)
He didn't ask us any creepy questions and we went for a ride in the new 2003 Rio. It was super smooth and the radio was playing my favorite song, Meet Virginia. I said wouldn't it be funny if Duran Duran's song Rio came on right now. Nobody laughed so I said it again. Toby said he hears that all the time and my wife still just sat there, not saying anything. God, I wanted to hit her but she was driving and it's dangerous to do that. Lexy (very politely) asked Toby if he could have the Lord of The Rings DVD but TOby said they were out.
I told Michelle, my wife, to take us back to the dealer. Once there, I calmly told Toby that he better find a copy real quick or there's gonna be trouble. I started grating my teeth and stared him down. Believe me, these car dealer types just need a little pressure to get them going because he magically found an extra copy, "just laying around." Yeah, right. But I let it slide.
So we went inside to talk about the car. It was super cool inside the offices so I can't complain about that. Air-conditioned, I gander. He had a big oak desk that looked really professional so I thought we were going to get a good deal. He started scribbling on this pad of paper and then turned it around for us to see. 11,000 dollars. We had only 6, so I said if we can have it for that, he and one guest can eat for free anytime they want at my restaurant, Hockey Haven Bar & Grill. He chuckled and said the boss wouldn't let him do that.
I'm very proud of my establishment and I took insult in this. Where does he come off? 5,000 dollar credit is a LOT of money at my place, he could have had anything on the menu. I started yelling at him about how rude he was being and Michelle tells me to calm down. God, I hate her, but hey, all couples fight, am I right? AM I RIGHT?
We ended up getting the 1998 Sportage. It was a yellow so that's almost red. It cost us 7,500 which means we actually spent 1,500 more than we had. Oh well, Ramen noodles for the rest of the month I guess.:)
Yesterday, I took it down to the restaurant to show it off to my stupid dishwashers. They don't know english that good but they were super impressed, I could tell. They all drive P.O.S. Cars. And some even take the bus. So, while they were all standing there I got in and was leaving when the car died. All the power completely left and I was stuck in the parking lot for two hours until a mechanic and tow got there. My timing belt snapped they said.
All the dishwashers were laughing, and even after they went back inside the kitchen I could hear them talking their mexican talk through the screen door. Let's see if they're still laughing when I fire two of them tonight! ;) So, the repairs cost me 450 and I didn't even get Lord of The rings for my son.
Toby, I hope you read this, cause I'm gonna get you. I swear to god, I'm so mad right now I could eat you. NEVER BUY A KIA, and spit on Toby at Ann Arbor KIA, believe me he'll use your spit on his hair that slick, stupid bastard. Lexy hates him too now, so there KIA. Ha-ha!
Goodwin
Ann Arbor, Michigan
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