On November 7 I received a notice that I was awarded a grant and was chosen randomly through Readers Digest and Publishers Clearing House. I do not subscribe to Publishers Clearing house but do subscribe to Readers Digest.
The grant amount is $39000,00. Enclosed was a check for $1,960.00 which is to be sent back to them for the payment of taxes etc. The phone number on the notice is, 1-289-3018. I was told to call this number and ask for Peter Winfred or Debbie Hayes between 8:30am and 10:00pm. It tells that I will be asked for my claim number which is, 4811. After I send the check, I'm told that I will receive a check for the amount of $37,040, 00 to do with as I wish. It also says that I do not have to be a home owner to receive this money and that if I do not respond by November 26th my grant will go to charity. But wait! I t also called the grant a HOME IMPROVEMENT GRANT. So if I don't have a home then what? Will it be a non home owner's grant?
Anyway, they tell me to call that guy Peter or that woman Debbie and tell them to activate my account (WHAT ACCOUNT?) and choose a category A B or C. Option A (accept check) Option B (Don't accept check. Pay taxes and administration fees by self)) (By self, LOL! I like that one, by self.) Option C (No thanks) I expect Peter or Debbie to ask for my phone number and bank account number because of course, they need a place to deposit the money. Or maybe my visa card so they can buy a million dollar home overlooking the San Francisco Bay..
In small print on the bottom of the front side of the notice, it says, "Read carefully. This prize is a grant not a loan and does not require repayment." That's right Jack! Repaying isn't necessary when you're gonna pay once and big!
I laughed out loud when i read this. I knew they need to get their act together, regroup and don't send the fake check, it's a dead give away to those privy to fraud. Sending the check and telling the recipient to send it back was a dumb shit idea. Will someone please tell them the advance check is a dumbshit idea, please!? I'm trying to understnd honest!!!
Shrug. Anyway, consider me congratulated. Consider thir letter registered. REGISTERED? / Well, hell, they got that word stamped across the letter in red! SO it must be so, right? Or was that another massive brain fart?
I shed a tear for the audacity and the stupidity of the sender of this bad idea. Dammit, and I had such plans for that $37000,00.. I really wanted to go by a Q tip factory and hire illegals. They are fantastic letter writers but the check in advance that I can't cash... Hmmm that was a no brainer.
Oh, and the bank name on the $1,960.00 check that I can't keep is, Southwest Trust Inc. It doesn't exist. Maybe it is an outter limits bank on Jupiter somewhere. I'll stand corrected if I'm wrong! Honest!
Boo Hoo, dammit I really wanted that 37K. I'm so mad.
Goodnight Peter, Good night Debbie. I hope you can share the same cell. You'll both have plenty of time to think up a better scheme. Jeeeze, I hope you do, I 'd hate to get another dumb grant letter. I'd rather stick pencils in my eyes than read any more of this stupidity.
Groan...
Are you buyink or sellink? Vat cho tink deeze peoples are stoopitt? Maybe you tink so, yez? Vell yoo art veddy ronk!
NIght Peter and Deb,
Get a job!
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