Was a potential future client for a future kitten. Asked for advice on how to blend my 3 cats (2 resident cats, 1 kitten). Was seeking constructive, supportive, non-judgmental advice. Even apologized in advance for any "noob questions." I included in my query that I bathed my cats and the kitten. I bathe my cats every 3 weeks, and they enjoy it.
Found the response acerbic and negative. Pets and pet parenting are a sensitive subject, and if a family seeks out family therapy or an individual goes to an attorney, the last thing they'd want/expect is to feel condescension.
Not speaking to the quality of her cats or anything. They could be fantastic. This is just something I wanted to warn the public about, if they cared about customer service with breeders/business.
Tiamaria cattery response:
"Stop showering them and bathing them. That's going to traumatized them. Also this kitten was just shipped, she is under enough stress without baths and other cats. You're going to make a situation that wouldn't have been bad with patience horrible. The breeder should have instructed you to isolate your new kitten, until it is comfortable with you. Your kitten could get sick from the stress. The other cats are hissing at each other because of the showers you gave them. You have to just chill out and separate them. This takes a couple weeks. Hopefully it won't take longer because of everything that has happened"
"I may have made a mistake bathing the kitten, but I don't think my cats are hissing at each other because of the baths. They have baths every 2-3 weeks and enjoy them, especially the blow drying. It is our first time having multiple cats, so we are inexperienced. It seems like I've upset you or taken too much of your time by reaching out. Thanks for the advice anyway.
I feel much worse about the situation after reading your response. I was seeking constructive, supportive advice but I sensed condescension with words like "traumatized, " "horrible, " "chill out."
I get the vibe of what you're saying. At first, I was wondering if I was being over sensitive (I hate that), so I shared it with a few attorney friends to check myself/reaction. They felt my sentiments, and we agreed that when someone comes with a bad situation (which is what often happens with someone hiring an attorney), successful individuals often try to make clients or potential clients feel better than worse, so the client trusts in them, they build a relationship, and the client will want to work with them again, versus the opposite.
I try to be a peacemaker. So, I don't mean to be in your face. I just wanted to enunciate I felt very somewhat judged and negative after the response, particularly with the judgment call on whether my cats like baths or not/how to parent them. I feel it's always a sensitive issue with pets or children and judgment calls are best to be avoided. I couldn't help imagining had this situation happened with a kitten I purchased/would have purchased with you in the future, and had I sought your advice, receiving this kind of reaction. I suppose it no longer matters.
We decided to hire a cat behaviorist. Thank you for your time in trying to help anyway. I appreciate it and everything thus far.
P.S. If you ever came to me for legal advice, I would not have responded with condescension. I try to respond as if I was in their shoes while being helpful. That is how I behaved with XYZ when he had a legal question. I would do that for anyone."
I have had my share of experience with the Siamese/Balinese breeder community, and I ONLY recommend Louis Azcarate of Permes Cattery & Marie Desmond of Balichaton for the Siamese/Balinese breed.
I recommend these breeders for health, temperament, and care of kittens. I do not trust cat breeders in general, but I trust Louis and Marie.