Blows Against the Empire A Primer for Consumer Revolt
How many of us have stood in line by the door at Wal-Mart after checking out, impatiently waiting to have our receipts examined by the myopic, blue-vested, associates looking for stolen merchandise which is not secured in a bag? This is a demeaning and time-wasting experience; and, since most of us don't shoplift, having to endure this is somewhat insulting as well.
One day, after a particularly grueling stint in a very, very long line behind other disgruntled and disgusted Wal-Mart shoppers, I decided that I was mad as hell, and wasn't going to take it anymore.
My first move was to compose a detailed letter outlining my objections to the practice of being arbitrarily detained and searched simply because I possessed paid-for, and receipted products* in my shopping cartbut for which Wal-Mart chose not to provide bags or paid stickers. I then sent it to my local Wal-Mart manager via registered mail.
*including, but not limited to such common household items, such as pet food, bird seed, cased beer, or any other merchandise which will not fit in the small plastic Wal Mart bags.
The gist of my stated positioned was this:
When the cashier accepted payment and subsequently issued a paid receipt, title of the merchandise then passed to me and became my property at that point.
Since I possessed a paid receipt for all my purchases, I saw no need to stop and be inspected by anyone, except a bona fide law enforcement officer Wal-Mart, and some other mass merchants sell products which can be reasonably tagged or bagged, but are not, because of the additional time and cost involved. Consequently, when the associates see an unbagged case of beer, or sack of cat food, you are assumed to have stolen it until you demonstrate your innocence by offering your receipt as proof of ownership.
If one chooses NOT to wait in line and meekly submit to this customer profiling indignity, the associates typically try and stop this unauthorized egress by loudly calling out, customer, hey customer, until the hapless victim stops and submits to a search of his property.
The root cause for objecting to this practice is twofold;
Firstly, I strenuously object to being continually inconvenienced solely for the sake of corporate profits. I consider, (as you undoubtedly do), that my time is as equally valuable as anyone else's, and I resent being systematically detained on the presumption that my time is comparatively worthless. This practice also violates the cardinal rule of vendor/customer relations which is; NEVER let a vendor make their problem... Your problem.
Secondly, this store policy operates on a presumption of guilt! Customers are presumed to have stolen unbagged merchandise until they can demonstrate otherwise.
Having outlined my objections forcefully in my letter, and further stating that I would no longer participate in this corporate abrogation of what I consider to be an unalienable right by stopping and submitting to arbitrary searches, I waited for the return receipt, signifying that my letter to the store manager had been received and signed for.
The first few times that I subsequently exited the store without stopping were uneventful; the associates on cue, called out loudly, customer, customer! Since neither of these two names appeared anywhere on my birth certificate I simply ignored them and pressed on out the door unhindered, and unmindful of the fracas behind me.
The very next time this happened, the associates called security when I ignored them. Security then proceeded to block my vehicle with their car while I was loading my groceries. I simply ignored the intrusion of the security guard, and continued to unload my groceries.
He asked me, What's the problem sir? I don't have a problem, I replied, and resumed loading. Somewhat taken aback by this unexpected answer, an awkward silence ensued. He then stated, The associate asked you to stop sir. I replied, yes, she did. Somewhat flustered by these non-responsive answers, he blurted, Well, why didn't you stop? I shrugged and said, Why should I? I've done nothing wrong.
The assistant manager was called and came running out, so I had to repeat this entire dialogue for him, as well as extending to him the additional courtesy of explaining my original reasons for my passive resistance as outlined in my previous letter to his boss.
Upon finishing my loading, I turned to face them and said, Gentlemen, I have finished loading my groceries, and I wish to leave now; if you have reason to believe that I have stolen anything, then call the police, and we'll wait for their arrival together; if not, then you need to move your vehicle so I can go, but under no circumstances am I going to show you my receipt. I further stated, If you elect to call the police, after forcibly detaining me, and it becomes evident that I have not stolen anything, then my next stop will be at my attorney's office!
Both were by this time, extremely flustered, and unsure of to how to proceed. The assistant manager then graciously asked me if he could return my empty cart. I said yes, thank you. He took the cart and replied in the familiar monotone, hank you for shopping Wal-Mart. Somewhat of a lame exit line given the circumstances, but perhaps this situation isn't covered in the assistant manager's store operations manual?
In the overall scheme of life, this may appear to some to be a high price to pay for what I used to view as a minor and unavoidable inconvenience. But for freedom loving folks, this is a good opportunity to assert one's individuality, and send a message to the corporate-state that their customers deserve to be treated much better than this, and that you as a true individual, are strongly committed to helping them recognize this fact.
I have shared this story with a number of friends, many of whom have successfully duplicated my results. For those of you wishing to strike a blow against the mass merchants that practice customer profiling, here are my field tested techniques for search avoidance:
A) Always be courteous and polite to store employees... No matter what, as the controversy is with corporate policy, not with employees just trying to get through another demanding day in an oppressive environment.
B) Insure that the unbagged items have been paid for, and are listed on the receipt!
C) NEVER make eye contact with the associates by the door. Ignore them as well as their entreaties to stopand why should YOU stop? At any given time, there will be several hundred shoppers in the store, none of whom are named customer I have never been chased by a door guard in the dozens of times I've run their gauntlet. This failure to make eye contact will get you by 90% of the time as most associates aren't motivated enough to pursue it past this point.
D) Stay committed, even if you get blockaded in the parking lot as I was your courteous resolve will see you through.
E) In the unlikely event that the police are called, show them the receipt, and re-state your reasons to them, maintaining your polite demeanor throughout. I am looking forward to this escalation, although all my incidents in the last two years have only been dealt with at the store level.
The other day, I was in K-Mart standing in a checkout lane behind a well dressed woman and her teenage daughter. Upon exiting the store, an alarm sounded, indicating that a security tag had not been deactivated or removed somewhere among this couple's purchases. The woman and her daughter immediately stopped in mid-stride, made an automatic about-face, and obediently returned to the checkout stand with an apologetic look on their faces, as if somehow this was their fault. All this Pavlovian behavior. Simply at the sound of a buzzer, which in this case was nothing more than an auditory surrogate for illegitimate corporate authority.
How sad This particular incident brought to mind a quote from George Orwell:
Circus dogs jump when the trainer cracks his whip, but the really well-trained dog is the one that turns his somersault when there is no whip.
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