I went to Together Dating after receiving their ad in the mail. Having moved to New Jersey from another state, I was looking for a safe way to meet new and interesting people. The young woman I initially met with at Together assured me that I had come to the right place. She said they have LOTS of men in my age group (mid-30s) who were just like me - not a good fit for the bar scene, career oriented, and looking for companionship.
As I saw from other postings here, I too was assured that background checks were completed on all potential matches.in addition, I spent hours being interviewed and completing forms and surveys. This led me to believe that Together really did go to great lengths to find out about the people they were serving, which I imaged might lead to a good match for me.
When the big sale pitch came, complete with fancy laminated diagrams and statistics, I bought it hook, line, and sinker. Thank goodness the only credit card I had with me didn't have $4K available credit, or that is how much I would have lost! Embarrassed at the card's refusal but honestly somewhat relieved, I said I should think about this further and started to leave.
She said she liked me, though, and wanted me to be a part of their service. (In retrospect, I realize she manipulated me like a highly skilled used-car salesman) She gave me the one-time-only offer of $1500 for 3 matches (to be completely upfront, she later sent me additional and unsolicited matches by mail). Even as she was running my credit card, I had the disturbing feeling that I was falling for a hoax. Buyer beware!
Since that fateful day 2 months ago, I have gotten matched with 2 people who wholly don't meet the "bare minimum" expectations I shared in the interview process. (A nasty and angry guy who - among other issues - hates travel, even though I indicated it was very important to me that a person I met was interested in travel; a 5'6" foreign man who had difficulty with English when I indicated I preferred to meet people whose first language was English AND someone who is at least 5'10") and one who still has not called after 2 weeks (their rule is gentleman call first).
I tried to address my concerns with both a manager (?) and my "matchmaker". First I called my matchmaker, who never returned my calls. I finally contacted a manager to complain about my unresponsive matchmaker as well as my very poor matching experiences.
Based on the weeks of aggravation and utterly poor matches, I said I did not wish to continue with the program and asked for a refund. She said I signed a contract and could not have a refund. I responded that Together was NOT MEETING their part of the contract. She essentially told me I was out of luck and would refer me to a new matchmaker in the hopes that she would have better luck.
The matchmaker (the very same abrasive woman I spoke with initially) informed me that my expectations were too high to get decent matches (I have a terminal degree, and would prefer to meet someone with an advanced degree) and I needed to lower my standards. Obviously this is NOT was I was told in the beginning.
As of today, I am so disheartened by my experience that I don't think I want to continue the ridiculous process of returning the feedback forms only to be sent another dud. I have 4 matches left. At $300 each, one would think I would want to continue with the service in hopes of a match. I am not sure what I will do at this point.
The reason I am writing now is to warn others. If you are considering this service, don't do it! The people at the office will reel you in for the sell. Once they have you, they become unpleasant, discourteous, and manipulative.
I know the idea is very appealing, especially for someone like me who is new to an area. I still don't know of a safe and reasonable way to meet new people, but I do know that Together Dating Service is an awful scam. Save your dignity and your money, and don't give them the time of day.
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