Complaint / Review
Pony Police James Browne Chief J.B. Stoner
Mayor Police Chief Drives Recklessly, Sleeps On Duty and Passes Gas

I have lived here in Pony since 1994 and we have had our share of loser town cops, but the latest retard Mayor J.B. Stoner Jr. Hired really scrapes the bottom of the barrel. Jim Browne, the new chief, likes to race up and down Pony Blvd in his police car with his blue lights flashing and siren wailing for no apparent reason other than to piss off my dog, Max. This clown has been our police chief for nearly two weeks and Sheriff Fife has already given him 3 tickets. One for unsafe lane change (which is unusual since our streets aren't wide enough to actually have lanes), one for racing the town ambulance on the way to the hospital and running him off the road, causing the front axle to break. (Thank GOD Digger & Graves funeral home let us use their hearse until the parts come in to fix our ambulance. You should have seen the look on Minne *'s face when the hearse pulled up to her front door to take her to the foot doctor. She about pooped in her house dress.) and one for doing donuts in the parking lot of the First Assemblies of God this past Sunday afternoon. I asked Mayor Stoner why he hired this imbecile and he told me that he came highly recommended by the Beverly Hills Police Department out in California. Oh and NOW Chief Browne wants to change the name of our nice little town to Westec. When I asked him why the hell he wanted to change the name of our town, he said he didnt want to have to buy a new badge. He wants to wear his Westec Security Chief badge he wore in Beverly Hills. The final straw came this morning. At 9:10am I saw the Pony Police car (we only have one) parked in the handicapped spot in front of Piggly Wiggly. I looked inside and I saw none other than our fearless Chief Browne, fast asleep with a 1/2 eaten bag of pork rinds in his lap, his 757 Magnum Automatic Pistol on the seat and snoring so loud I thought it was the air raid siren going off. When I tapped his shoulder, he woke up, yelled F*CK YOU and drove off squealing his tires the whole way out onto Gunther Street. This guy HAS TO GO!