My husband is in prison because he is bi-polar. He attempted suicide on June 30th. He was having a real hard time we had no money and no insurance either.
The sheriffs office was there two days before this happened I told them how bad he needed help, they did not listen to me. They told me I had better get a restraing order, If I didn't and they came back they would take us all to jail even the kids. I went down the court to get the order, the clerk adv me not to worry about it, it wouldn't be effective unless it was served. She was actually very helpful. She told me If The sheriff did come back just to have him served then maybe they could help me get some help for him. I agreed.
Well I had no choice but to call 911 on the 30th. My husband came home from work and I knew something was terribly wrong, then he matter of factly stated he "was going to die today" He said he was sorry and he loved us, he just could not take it anymore. I called the sheriff to have him served and they said there was not an officer available and it would be at least 45 min to an hour.
Then I saw him in the hallway with knife. Then I called them back as I sent the kids out the window to a neighbers house. I did not want them to know what was going on.By the time I was helping my youngest son out there were 3 officers outside the window.By the time I went out there were 10 or 12 of them.
My husband was not making us stay. He did not threaten anyone at all. They couldn't talk him out so one of the deputies came across the street to get our 10 year old son. I tried to stop him from taking him over there, he said he would arrest me if he had to to get it done. Our 10 year old had to go and stand outside the window, knew his dad wanted to die and there were several officrers behind him with their guns pointed at his dad.
He now thinks it is his fault because he didn't do a good job helping dad. He was looking forward to seeing his dad. I filled out the visitation applications. He took a plea and has to do a year Florence Prison. Our request to visit was denied because the state named us victims in the case. He did not threaten us, but the newspaper said he was threatening us with a knife. Not true.
He was hit with tasers and bean bags and he did cut himself bad enough to need 75 stitches. A counsler at Superstition Mental Health said she she could not believe they didn't call a crisis team to the scene or to the ER. There was no one in the apt except for my husband. They treated it like he had hostages in there.
They said he made a stabbing motion at an officer. That don't make any sense. He was on the phone with a friend, who happens to be married to a police officer. She said when his was hit the first time it was a suprise. They did shoot through the window, I am almost positive the shot through the window before they got through the front door. I can't figure out how he could make stabbing motion at officers that weren't even in the house yet, talk on the phone, cut himself, and get hit with bean bags through the bedroom window.
After all that he want to the hospital for stitches and then was taken straight to jail. His public defender advised him not to get a mental evaluation. He was held on 75,000 bail. They thought he was on probation for a felony at the time this happened but he wasn't. He did get a felony DUI In 2002 and was on prob for three years. That expired in Apr this happened in June.
They did not bother to find out what he was on probation for. He took a plea for endangerment for the DUI. They assumed he was repeadetly violent.
We will never know if the grand jury was swayed if they thought he was on probation for felony endangerment. No matter what I tried to tell his public defender or the prosecutor, I couldn't get through to them. The victim advocate that worked with me tried to help me too. I faxed over the records where he had been previously diagnosed with depression, what meds he had taken in the past and so on.
Finally in December he was seen by a psychiatrist, and put on medication for bi-polar. He was on it for about a month I think. Then they ran out and he was off it again for another three weeks.
You are probally wondering why I am fighting for him after all of that. It is because we have been married for over 15 years. He was a good provider for for over twelve of those years. I was able to stay home with our sons when they were little and he is a good father. I know there is something wrong, and it is not his fault.
Depression runs in his family. He has two sisters and a brother that have all been treated for depression, Adhd Adult ADD and one of his sisters has been suicidal as well. I gave the courts the family history. I gave the public defender the history and still no one would listen.
If he had thretned me or the kids ot the sheriff deputies I could understand the actions they took. I was telling them prior to this that he needed some help. It was very hard on us and we were scared after all of that.
I was truly grateful to the sheriffs office for saving his life. I thought they did do at least that much. I don't want to be their victim. I don't want to be kept from my husband. The kids want to see him. There is nothing I can do about it.
I went to the al-anon meetings and even talked to a co-dependant counsler one on one. From my perspective the al-anon meetings were a place where these women would meet and accept part of the responsibility for their husbands drinking problem. If they really believed they are powerless over alcohol, why were they in a 12 step program in the first place. The counsler told me that I can change my pattern of getting into relationships troubled ment if I was willing to work hard at it. The only man I have been with is my husband. Is that a pattern? I decided they were on auto pilot with this co-depent epidemic. I don't even think the American Psychiatric Association even acknowledges codepency.
I know that my husband is not the only one crimilized because of a mental illness. There are far too many that are. There are alot of families that are seperated as a result. This can be treated, but I don't agree that the jails and prisons are the place to do it.
Being locked up can actually make his condition worse. The more guilt and shame he endures the worse he can get. I know that because a woman at the Arizona Alliance for the mentally ill said that happens alot. Jail is the last place he needs to be. She encouraged me to fight for him, thats why I am filing this report with you.
Kelly
Apache junction, Arizona
U.S.A.
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