I was an awkward and gawky girl. I had developed early and was quite embarrassed by my new body; boys had a way of pointing it out to me. You know, the game of pulling the bra strap and commenting on my chest&guessing what numbers and letters were imprinted on the little tag tucked inside. I would walk thru the school halls with my arms folded in front of my chest, clutching my books as if they would somehow protect me. As uncomfrotable as those games made me feel, it was nothing compared to what would ensue, you see, I was molested by Jeffrey Spector.
I was in the tenth grade, I'm 22 years old now, but I still remember the incident, though I don't like to talk about it. You see, I wasn't threatened verbally, wasn't raped, but I was molested by Jeffrey Spector and instantly came shame, confusion, and a loss of innocence. I had missed several days of school: I believe I had a case of strept throat. Mr. Spector told me that I needed to see him to get some work assignments that I had missed. He specified for me to come back to the gym at the end of the day. I did not think much about it, I just sat there like a trapped fly, never realizing that I was already entangled in the web. How could I fathom what was about to ensue?
He asked me to put some hangings on the wall. He kept talking about taking me to Disneyworld. The man was obsessed with Disneyworld. Well, I don't want to get into details as he had me stand on the counter, we can just say that his hands began to explore places I had never experienced before. That wasn't the end of it. So there I was, home, molested by Jeffrey Spector and not having a clue what had happened, or how it would affect my life. I thought that he was my boyfriend. Can you believe that? My older sisters had talked about boyfriends and I began to listen more intently to their conversations, after all, I had a boyfriend too, and he gave me chocolates. It wasn't very long after that encounter that I began to act more seductive. I remember trying to show my brastrap, like it had accidentally slipped out of my shirt. I don't have any clue as to the psychological reasoning behind it, but I know one thing, you can't walk away from sexual abuse unchanged, no matter how old you are or think that you have it together-it will affect you.
After the molestatiion occured, I went about my business as usual. I was in the tenth grade, but things had definitely changed. I looked at the world differently and became sexually aware. Nowadays, it isn't uncommon to see young children expressing a sexual awareness at a young age. I believe that the media plays a vital role in "sexually molesting" young minds. It's strange how the mind works. I can remember the day Mr. Spector molested me clear as a bell. I cannot remember the rest of tenth grade, strange since there were four more months of school followed by summer vacation. I don't remember much of eleventh grade, but then came a pivotal time. One day I was home watching television and a movie came on, "Fallen Angel". It was the first time I had ever seen a movie regarding child molestation or sexual abuse and I began to understand what Jeffrey Spector had done to me was not only wrong but it was a crime. I watched the movie with an intensity that you would not believe. When the movie ended, I couldn't shake the realization of what had happened to me and how I had been violated. Honestly I didn't understand the nature of the sexual abuse until I saw that movie. However, I still didn't tell anyone about what had transpired though that was soon to follow. When my parents found out they arranged a meeting with Jeffrey Spector and me. I can't begin to tell you how intimidating that was for me. Yet, I believed I was fighting a criminal, and like in the movie, I would see justice prevail. I was wrong.
I was very excited that I was going to have my day in court and do a wonderful thing-put a child molestor in jail. Well, my justice was short-lived. I was told by my father that due to the fact that I had waited so long to tell about the abuse, and the fact that I wasn't "definite" about the details of my molestation, that there wouldn't be enough of a case to take Jeffrey Spector to court. I began to have serious emotional issues and ended up leaving home and moved in with my "Aunt" during the summer.
Victims who attempt to come forward are often given a harder time than the perpetrators. The New York Times reported a story about a 16 year old who was given genital herpes in 2009 by her teacher and told her parents about it. When they confronted the teacher about it, the teacher denied the claim, and warned that if they reported him, the girl would be expelled from school.in spite of the threats, the family reported the teacher to the police. The teacher was fired and given a prison sentence. However, the girl became an object of taunting by students at her school and the situation got so bad that her parents had to send her to another school district.
People like Mr. Spector are cunning, charming and appear to be caring. This is a disguise. He is good looking even though he has a crewcut and blends in with people around him. Parents need to take time to listen. Some parents don't want to believe it could happen to their child in a "safe" setting. Parents must trust their children in a way that they would not be fearful in reporting this type of behavior. Parents need to be more vigilant in educating their children so that they can be aware of people like Jeffrey Spector and report immediately any suspicion they might have regarding any predator and they are educated as to what a pedophile is in reality.
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