In December, my stepson moved in with my husband and I after repeated altercations with his mother. He was upset, letting us know that his mother and her husband would frequently come home at 2-3am, drunk, waking him up on school nights with their arguing... And that his mom would wake him up to tell him how useless he was. His sister (who was 19 at the time) corroborated this information.
After giving him time to calm down and think things over (and at his request), we transferred him to our local high school, and made sure he would be eligible to participate in the sports program. He made a great adjustment and was happy in our home with his other three siblings. Also at his request, we initiated a Change of Custody - the forms for which his mother completed, agreed to, and signed. NOTE: His mother made no attempt to contact my stepson (either in person or by phone) for over six weeks.
To make a long story short, he went to spend a weekend with his mother and never returned. (NOTE: He told both myself and the high school athletic director that he was choosing to go back, because his mother had promised that he could "do whatever [he] wants", and that she would finally allow him to get his drivers' license and give him a car.) The day after he was supposed to come home to our house, we received a letter from the Friend of the Court, stating that the Change of Custody was denied - even though BOTH parties agreed to the arrangement - because neither party had included W-2s (the child support agreed to was less than the FOC guidelines require, but both my husband and his ex-wife agreed to it).
At that time, my husband filed a motion with the FOC, asking that my stepson be returned to our home, and that the original Change of Custody be enforced.
When the court date arrived, my husband's ex-wife admitted to driving drunk, repeatedly waking my stepson in the middle of the night after she had been drinking, and to the fact that the police had been called to her home on more than one occasion. She said that she did this "only a few times a month".
The FOC referree decided to allow my stepson to REMAIN with his mother.
While I realize that my stepson is old enough, in the eyes of the law, to know where he WANTS to be, that doesn't mean it is where he SHOULD be. He is now in a home, living with two people who admit to drinking to excess on a regular basis, who admit to interfering with his school life, all with the blessing of the Macomb County Friend of the Court. Who does this agency serve? Certainly NOT the children of Macomb County.
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