To Whom It May Concern:
In 1969 my wife and I married. We proceeded to start a family which consists of three beautiful daughters. Approximately twelve years later I discovered that in 1970 (one year after wed married) my wife had started drawing welfare claiming we were separated. When I confronted her about it she admitted to it and swore it would stop. I must have been nave, young and dumb because I forgave her and completely believed she would never do it again. I thought at the time I could deal with the money owed and that we could take care of it. Even though I did not owe a penny of it, I believed it would be easier to just pay it off. The balance continued to grow even though Id made payments and my tax returns were taken every single year.
After 21 years of marriage I filed for divorce because of my wifes drug habits and her lifestyle. I was just too tired of trying to work things out. When she discovered that I had filed, she packed everything except my clothes, cleaned out the bank account and moved into an apartment with our two girls. The older daughter had married a couple of years earlier. We were then separated for 3 months when she was locked up for methamphetamine manufacturing and the two younger girls returned to live with me. My daughters remained in my custody from that point on. During all this time I have never been able to obtain any kind of credit or buy a home. I have always had to pay cash for everything I own. I have had garnishments against my wages as well as the tax returns being taken and have endured constant harassment by the state of California. I had my drivers license revoked and have had liens against the vehicles I've owned. The straw that broke the camels back was a lien against my new wife's house.
I have hired an attorney which was no easy task in itself. Most attorneys would not touch my case and told me I had no recourse. This attorney is a California attorney (I now live in another state) and she said this was the kind of case that made front page news and took it on with no qualms. She has been working on this for over four years and it has not been an easy task. I have to find records to prove that we lived together during all that time. Our joint tax returns more than prove this, but the IRS is seriously dragging their feet and my attorney is having to constantly try to deal with them. Public records would support the fact of our living at the same address as the welfare checks, but here's another hitch - most public records do not go back further than 20 years. I cannot find school records for my daughters because the schools no longer exist. They were torn down and rebuilt and the school districts tell us that they no longer have those records. Utility bills, hospital records, phone bills, DMV records all say the same; nothing is kept longer than 20 years! I have written, notarized, affidavits from my daughters stating that I was living with them and caring for them (except for those 3 months previously mentioned) up until they married.
To my utter shock, after a couple of years of investigations, my attorney discovered that my ex had filed in several counties within California and had not discontinued her false welfare claims like she'd promised to do.in fact, she had been drawing welfare while in jail - and the children were living with me in my custody (to this day I still can't figure out how she did that one)! In the last couple of years I've done a lot of research about deadbeat dads. That term weighs heavily on me because by the standards of delinquent child support I am considered to be one. I have spent my life taking care of my daughters. I am still an active part of their lives to this day, including my grandchildren and great grandchildren. The term deadbeat dad is about the furthest thing from the truth and yet I'm still fighting it. Now that I have remarried I realize I have a right to a life free of harassment and shame. I no longer want to be hounded because of something I have never been a part of. I recently found out from my youngest daughter that her mother would pay her part of the welfare checks my ex received just to keep her quiet and not tell me about it, all this while we were married and living in the same home!
I continued receiving notices from both Santa Clara county and Shasta county in California for child support until my attorney started contacting them and asking questions. All of a sudden I received a notice from Santa Clara County stating, 'We have received information that a case with the same parties exists in the County of Shasta. The State of California only allows one county to maintain a case file for the same parties, so we are sending the records from the case listed above with Santa Clara County Department of Child Support Services, to Shasta County Department of Child Support Services. If you have any future inquiries regarding this case, with the above named individual, you should contact the Shasta County Department of Child Support Services at.' It seems strange that it took them 17 years to discover this, especially since it wasn't until my attorney contacted them that I received the letter.
In fact, the state of California and the county's involved never once questioned any of my ex's filings for welfare. I lived with my ex for 21 years and not once did any official of the county or state approach me. If anything was sent by mail I had no chance of ever receiving it because she was a stay at home mom and took care of paying the bills.
No one ever investigated the fact that we had the same address as the welfare checks and that we filed our taxes jointly for those 21 years at the same address! Simply because she filed for welfare I was assumed to be guilty.
Now, 37 years later I'm still guilty, still fighting and still considered a deadbeat dad. What is beyond my comprehension is the fact that even if by some miracle (no, I have to think positive) WHEN I get this cleared, the statute of limitations does not allow her to be prosecuted or forced to repay any of this money even though it was obtained completely under false pretenses. And to be honest, I'm not looking for her to be punished. All I want is to be free of this burden. It seems so strange that I have to prove I am not guilty when they cannot produce records to prove that I AM GUILTY!!! At least my attorney is not giving up and is very thorough so I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope that light comes out of that tunnel before I die!
I'm sending this letter out to as many websites, attorneys, reporters, news channels, etc. As I can in the hopes someone will know of a similar case.
Please remember, not all dads are deadbeats. Some are victims. Victims just as much as those mothers and children who are abandoned by real deadbeat dads.
Dwight
Washington, Utah
U.S.A.
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