To be quite clear, I am not one of these "good old boy"-type women who has lived in the Bible Belt all her life. At the time I was going to this church, I was in college, and was, in some way or another seeking guidance on how to live my life better and help give it purpose and meaning. Mind you, however, this is a predominantly white church, with few black members and 1 Hispanic and 1 Asian - ME. If they ever read this, they will know who I am (LMAO).
I was there for about three years.in that span of time, the church barely grew, despite Bill's confession that "every seat be filled" and his vision to expand, move to a bigger location, add a school, blah, blah, blah.
I was dating a guy (not a "man") by the name of Wes Hendrix (who at the time was 20, and I was 21), and had been dating three years when I found out I was pregnant; it was five days before he was to leave to go to Rhema Bible Training Center in Tulsa, OK. (oh, the irony!). I was stressed to the point that I feared a miscarriage (it didn't help that Wes's crazy mother, Sherry, was telling the pastors and everyone else that the baby wasn't her son's and that I was a whore). They told me to go to a women's shelter in TN (nevermind the fact that I had a full-time job!) for unwed mothers so that I could "properly" prepare for the coming of my baby. Eventually, Wes quit school and came back, but he wasn't allowed to speak to me, as per instructions from this hyper-controlling pastor.
By the time I was 5 months pregnant, I had almost stopped going to the church altogether and was beginning to settle into the notion that I would be a single mom, when Lorie (Bill's wife and co-pastor) called me and told me that they wanted a meeting with me and my parents together with Wes and his parents. They set a date that was inconvenient for my parents, and neither of them could come, but they pressed it anyway, and my mom sent my oldest sister (who was also pregnant) to go with me. Before the meeting started, they rudely pushed my sister out of the room and told her she had no right to be there because she was not my parent. She panicked for my safety and called my mom, who wanted to speak to me. Lorie took the phone out of my sister's hand and yelled at my mother for not being there and slammed the phone shut and once again pushed my sister out of the room.
For the next 2 hours, I was verbally and emotionally abused for everything from having had premarital sex to being a liar to not being fit to raise a child. Almost nothing was said to Wes. They made it seem like everything was my fault. For the next four months, I tried to jump through all the hoops they set before me of being at the church more often, etc., stupidly believing that if they saw how hard I was trying to make things work out between me and my son's father, they would let us get married. How stupid and naive I was!
Four days before my due date of April 29, Wes's mother called me and in so many words, told me that they would not be present at my son's birth because Satan would use my son to destroy their family, and that Bill and Lorie agreed to that decision. I was beyond stunned and speechless. There are no words to describe the emotional agony, the anger, the confusion I was going through. I called Lorie, but of course, she didn't get back to me until 2 days later. They called me to meet with them on the 28th, which is when THEY KICKED ME OUT OF THEIR CHURCH. They took favor over Wes's family because I was just one person, and the one person who they could put the blame for everything. Bill said, and I quote, "Wes has NO obligation to that baby. And the paternity of that baby is in question". (Funny how it wasn't in question five months before...) They also told me to give my baby up for adoption because I was spiritually unfit to be a mother, for me to seek anger management counseling and that the "spiritual atmosphere" of my parents' house was unfit to raise a child! They made me empty promises of letting me come back (no date given!) and gave me names of other churches I could go to. I didn't take me long to realize that they were keeping tabs on me through the pastors at those other churches, so I just quit going to church altogether.
For a long time they told me that I was crazy and I had anger problems. Even after my son was born, I didn't understand why people who claimed to have the love of God, would shun me in my time of greatest need and treat the greatest blessing that God can give, a child, as something so shameful and awful.
Oh, and they didn't even bother to send my record of tithes for 2007 for my taxes. And they have since had former members call me out of the blue to try and find out anything they can. And I have yet to get any kind of apology, since I took my ex to court and proved he was the father!
People, save yourselves time and money. I have so many other things i could tell you, but the point is: RUN AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN FROM THIS CULT! Yeah, I said "cult"! Because it's no longer about the pure love of God, but about one man's ego and what he thinks is best for people.
Hope this saves at least some of you your precious time and your sanity - it almost cost me mine.
0 comments