I'm a limo driver. Last week I was called to pick up none other than Bob Vila from the show This Old House at LAX and take him to the Beverly Hilton. He was in town for the TV show The View. I'm used to driving around old entertainment queens like Merv Griffin, Gregg Hunter and Clint Eastwood, but nothing prepared me for this Bob Vila guy. First, he wanted, or should I say, DEMANDED that I take him down to the Maywood Home Depot to pick up a date for the evening. I told him that only 5 hours had been prepaid by the production company and he said, Don't worry about it, you'll get your money.
We finally get to the Home Depot on Slauson Avenue and Bob picks up this Mexican guy. Barely legal, I'm not talking about his immigration status, I'm talking about his age. 18 My ASS! But then again, he didn't speak a word of English, so he could have been illegal in both ways. Little Pedro wasn't in the limo more than 30 seconds before Bob had his clothes ripped off and demanding that the kid to do some of the most disgusting things one can imagine. I'm no prude, OK. I have had crazy things happen in my limo before like Don Knotts doing a Cleveland Steamer on Roger Ebert - but Bob Vila should change his last name from Vila to VILE. I can't even bring myself to describe what he was doing to poor little Pedro in the back of my limo. And on top of it all, Bob Vila is a mean, rude prick. After that, things went from bad to worse. He ordered me to drive to a bar in the Silver Lake area called the Man Hole. Since Pedro wasn't anywhere near 21, he had to stay in the car. While Bob was inside the Man Hole doing god knows what, I had a chance to hose out the back of my limo and visit with Little Pedro. He told me that he met Bob Vila in TJ. Bob told him that he would give him a job if he made it to America.
After about an hour of waiting, Bob Vila came staggering out of the bar, drunk. We finally drove Pedro back to Maywood. When we dropped him off, Bob gave him a $10 off coupon for a Sears Craftsman Drill and booted him out onto the street.
I finally get this rip-off back to the Hilton at 6:00am. I told him that he still owed me for 6 hours of limo time not covered by the production company.
He stiffed me on the limo ride and tip. And he was a rude, nasty pig.in the future, AVOID Bob Vila at all costs. And keep him away from your children.
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