Hi yuns! My name is Jimmy Lawson and I am a dead beet dad from Harlan, Kentucky. I have impregunated at leest 3 womin that I know uh but I made sure ta tuk tail before the little brats popped out. Hoo knows how many more womin I got pregununt so far. Don't really keer to know ether. Hope they just go have an aborshun and git rid uh the problem so I dont git slapped with more child support orders. No ones gonna force me into taking keer uh my kids! Meemaw told me ta use them condum things sos I wood kwit gittin gurls preganunt. I tried that wonst, but my pee pee was so small they come slippin rite off. But thats not gonna stop me frum havin uh good time. Yaint gunna take Jimmys fun. No suree. Wun uh the brats moms got me in truble. I got a lettur sayin I wuz suppose to go to tha court house or somethin but I had plans for that day. I wuz up at the trailur with gurl name Windi havin fun. Shoot helluva lot more fun than goin to court. So I wuz havin fun with Windi an whataya know I git a letter saying I haveta give away sum uh my munny to the state uh Tinasee. Thats win I figgurd out they were trine ta git me ta pay fer wun uh my kids cause thats wot it said rite crost top uh the letter CHILD SUPPORT. Dagnabbit son uh gun I said an threw ma beer crost the room. Windi werent nun two happy ta find out about the kid an all but she still lets me stay thar an eat her food an sit on her couch an drive her car an have my fun with her when her kids are asleepin. Sumtimes I give her sum uv my munny win she commences ta yellin at me an callin me a idiot an a stupid an askin why I didnt tell her about all my kids and crap like that an am I gunna git another letter like the wun that said CHILD SUPPORT crost the top. So I said dont worry baby I wont pay the state of Tinasee nuthin its for you an your kids an that got her to stop the screamin. Evurthin fine for a while til the state o Tinasee took way my tax return now that really chapped my ass so I quit workin b ut Windi kept on the yellin an screamin at me and callin me idjit and stupid so after 8 months of it I got up off the couch an went back to work. Then I had me a good idea. I was gonna piss that meddlin womin off the sames she pissed me off with the letter saying CHILD SUPPORT crost the top so I started sending a little munny not so much Wini would start the yellin at me. One time I sent 3 cent for the month of April but most times I didnt sind nothing. Sumtimes around Christmas times I think wunder why that meddlin womin hasint called me to ask me to come over and have a little fun, she had fun with me before why dusnt she call me and beg me ta come see her child an then I could talk her inta some fun. An itll bother me a bit she dont call but I usually git past it quick like cause I can git ma fun frum other womin. Only 3 times did it git to me bad enuff ta pick up the fone an call the womin but I guess she wasnt in a good mood an didnt invite me over for any fun so I ask hows the baby doin and she says its not a baby anymore an says she was born 8 an a half years ago and her name is Reyna or sumthin like that I dont rightly remimber. Time sure flies when yur havin fun man o man. An check this out yall Tinasee sent me another letter with the ugle wurds CHILD SUPPORT crost ta top agin an I said goldarnnit wut in tarnashuns do they want now well it said I owed Tinasee $18,653 and 31 cents and to come downtown agin. Dont think I will cuz that dont sound two fun ta me.
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