I am writing out of frustration with this sysem that claims it works in the best interest of the children! I must laugh as FOC is clealy using, or ABUSING it's powers and causing greater harm to the children it claims to serve.
I am trying right now to gather enough children together so they can form a law suit against the FOC.
My husband has a child from a divorce. When the Judge herd the case he did rule in a fair manner. However I see the Judges ruling means nothing.
Case in point reasonable visitation schedual. This went ok from 2005 until 2007. Febuary 9 of 2007 my husband and I were waiting at FOC to meet his former spouse and strike a deal with her as she had took off with 1,601.00 of our federal tax return. The former wife wanted to avoid a court issue on this. I had filed to take her to court and she saw the seriousness of the matter.
We waited and she never showed. When we called her she had spoke to someone at the friend of court and replied "get your money the best way you can". She then added the court papers are not specific they just say reasonable visitation so you will never see your son again.
That day we filed a motion for parenting time. His former spouse was served and then also filed a motion for parenting time. My husband and his former spouse have both joint legal and physical custody, the mother has a primary custody clause s well.
While in court before refferee Ross his former spouse admitted to drug use. While she then stated that spending any time during the holidays with his father his two sisters and his older brother would be detramental to their son.
Ross agreed and stated that the father was to have him fo day X to dy X however on the 4 of July he was to be returned to his mother for the day.
This was rediculous! My husband filed for the Judge and we were given a new court date. The 4 of July rolled around and the son's mother had to work so she did not arrive to collect him for the holiday.
The new order finally came for parenting time and the little boy did get the right to see his family every other weekend and one week day as well as rotating holidays odd years and even years.
My husband and his former spouse were told to see a mediator for $500.00 they had to split the cost.
In the mean time it was brought to our attention by a social worker that my husbands former spouse had a sib-on-sib abuse case going on at her house. We went and met with the social worker.
The social worker stated that they had recieved a call from a concerned party who had seen the mother leave the young 7 year old with his older sister for extended periods of time. The older teen sister weighs 213 lbs and the little boy weighs only 52 lbs.
The older sister had been bragging to others that she had kicked her brother in the face, when she saw something fly out of his mouth she thought she had kicked his tooth out but it was only ham. As my husband has cared for this child from age 2 she is over our house for visitation as well.
We later found out the mother sent her to spy and pry.
Well the little boy was rushed to the hospital around this time with a head wound. The mother claimed he ran into a wall playing with his older 1/2 sister. (the one who kicked him in the mouth)
About this same time on Jan 10 (my husbands birth-day) the little guy went missing the Brownstown police department had to form a search team of four officers and comb the complex door-by-door.
My husband was never informed of this information he as not called he was not informed his son was missing or that a sib-on sib abuse case was opened.
My husband supplys the medical coverage on our whole family including his youngest son. We went through the medical information and found the charges for his son's injury.
We were also informed by his son that he went missing and the police had to find him.
We were in shock about his going missing. As the mother had complained to us and asked us to talk to the school about the little guy being attacked by 5th grade bullies. The complex has a small park area and he was attacked several times while playing there.
My husband took off work and talked to the school principal who was very helpful. The principal stated that she could not take action against the boys as these attacks happened off school property. She then said she would talk to them. One of the boys who was a crossing safety could be delt with as he had cusse at and threatned the little guy while he was on duty as crossing safety. The principal spoke to him and stated after the conversation she felt she needed to remove him from his post.
We went through all of this but the mother never asked us what happened. The mother still sent the child to a known dangerous location for him, unsupervised and the child went missing.
The Brownstown police were very helpful and they gave us a copy of the incident report.
The first time we went to pick up the little guy for middle of the week visitation, the mother was not there. Two hours late she came pulling a crying kid. The mom thrust him at the car and said here he dose not want to see you. The mom continued to state it was not her problem to see that the son was there for visitation.
When my husband asked why she was two hours late, the mom replied I was stuck in traffic. Their so who was still crying in the back seat of our ca said"no we were not in traffic mom took me to my friends house and we were B-B-Qing then right when we were going to eat and could play our vidieo game she said sorry you can not play with your friend you havta go sit at your dads house and be board" After the little guy said this he tarted wailing harder and said "I do not want to come over dads house and be board"
The mother was triumphantly peeling out of the parking lot smiling. The little guys time was just about up by this time. He did not get o see his siblings and we had to rush hm to Burger king feed him a kids meal and rush him back as the parenting time was over.
We keep records of all of his and the cour refuses to look at he police records. It refuses to look at documentation we have where we waited for the mom for parenting time and she was less then two blocks away yet she was 2 hrs late or 2hrs 45 minutes late.
We had trouble as well when it comes to dropping him back off. The mom is not home we have to wait. Or the mom will say leave him at the neighbors, but the neighbor is not home.
The way we document this is, we show up at the designated meeting location, upon arrival we go into the gas station and buy something and ask for a reciept for the purchase. This proves we were at the location at that time. Then we wait, and wait and buy something else to show we are still at the location at the time required.
We have had to step up this tactic as of lately. The mom did not arrive at the designated meeting location. We also recieved a call to our home phone from the mom stateing "you are in violation of your parenting time, he is not to be with you."
We went to the local police department and filed a report showed the officer we were at the location at the time stated in the court papers. It was now 10:10 on a school night. The poor little guy had fell asleep in the car and did ot know what was going on. The officer was very helpful, when we lt him hear the phone message and proved we were at the location. The officer saw she was playing games and made the report. I felt sorry for the little guy he needed to get to school the next day and he was so tired.
I went to the office and asked him to please call the mom and state it would be in his best interest to go home with his dad and sleep for school tomarrow. The officer agreed and called the mom. The officer gave his name and precinct and said your son is here, how quick can you be here? The mom said 45 minutes. (it is a 13-14 min. Drive) The officer then said well as it will take you 45 minutes to get here and it is already after 10pm why don't you allow the child to go home with the ather and he will get him to school in the morning? (I do not know what the mom said) After a pause the officer replied angrily..."yes I know because it is all about you, not about this little boy here stuck in the middle who has to wait on a winter night with school in the morning... It is not about him!" The officer was angry and he did not yell but his tone registered his disaproval. The officer talked for a few more minutes before the mom ageed to let the child go home with his father and sleep for school in the morning. (this senario happened twice)
The little boys maternal (moms) grandparents got divorced. The little guy came to our house and had a melt down. He was screaming and crying he hates divorce. So I (step-mom) asked him to calm down and talk. Once we got to the issue his grandparents were divorcing and he was still reeling from his parents divorcing. He told me he just wanted to know what is a stupid divorce? I told him that it is when two people decide to live together and tey put it in writing and make an agreement. Then if they decide not to live together any more they "rip" up the original agreement and make up a new one called a divorce that says they no longer will live together. He calmed down immediatly and said "oh that is all?" My mom said it is because my dad is a cheater and a liar! I (step-mom) asked the little boy what is a cheater? He shrugged his shoulders and said "I dunno". I was relieved as the little boys mom had used his older 1/2 sister when she was around 12 to tell me that her mom was still having sex with my husband every morning before work.
This was not true and my husband has never cheated on me our marriage is solid. My car was broke down during this time and I had to drop him off at work as well as pick him up from work.
The reason my husband and his X divorced is simple as she slept with his brother. Claiming that as he was a foster brother it did not count. My husband still tried to work things out with her. A second blow to their marriage came when his then wife's best friend was married. The bestfriend was married and her husband came forward and told him, when your wife comes over my house for a girls night sleep over she entertain's different men.
The final blow came soon after when his former wife would need "time to clear her head" she would take off for two or tree days at a time. Not answer her cell phone and leave him with both their son as well as her daughter.
After the first two issues he decided to follow her on one of her "head clearing trips". He had it set up with a friend a diferent cars. He followed her to the apartment of a family friend that the kids called uncle.
The seperation and divorce followed when he told her he knew what he was up to and wanted to go to counseling. The former wife took off her wedding ring and said she wanted a divorce.
Once served with the divorce papers the former wife threw her self down the basment stairs. She was served with divorce papers over 7 months after the seperation.
During the time the former wife filed a PPO aainst my huband and obtained a 3 year exparte PPO my husband was never served. The woman engaged in the following:
Police report filed for keying my car.
Threats to me and my neighbors at 4 am while she was drunk and high.
Stole 1,601.78 in tax return monies from my husband & my tax return. Refusing to pay even after signing a payment agreement with the IRS.
Admitted in court to referee Ross that she abuses drugs but said she'd stop
Called my insurance company (Claiming to be me Mrs. A) and requested a duplicate card of mine be sent to her home.
Contaminated parenting time by refusing to follow court orders
Her & her older child as well as her sister and mother (grandma) told this little boy if he speaks to the police, court or anyone else he will be taken from her and never see her again and have to live in foster homes.
She drops him off and he is bitter and angry with us. He told his siblings they are not his real family. This hurt his little sister deeply and she said she no longer likes him. We have to stop this between these kids, they are all they have and they used to be so close.
By the time he gets to our home he is angry and mean. Once he is been here a day or two he is back to normal. Loving and throwing his little arms out giving hugs. Asking what he and HIS brother can play. Once he is back to normal it is time to send him back and the cycle starts again.
We have tons of records and even his school and his teacher last year came to us and asked the little boy not be involved in these matters. The teacher told us the mother came to the school in tears with the little boy and told the school she did not want the father to see him any more. The teacher told the mom that the dad has joint legal as well as physical custody of the child so we will not stop him from anything. The mom then went and had her hair done and came back and pulled the little boy out of school. As this was the schdualed parenting time. The teacher made a copy of the notice in the office and gave this to us.
The little boy has been to 3 schools in te last two years. The mom moved several times.
All of this evidence is before the court and they choose to ignor it.
To add insult to injury... The referee Ross has ordered an increase in child support! FOC claims 1,768.00 in arrearages! Yet we have FOC record showing all payment current and up to date!
The little boy has asthma and his mom refuses to quit smoking he has had several attacks.
His older 1/2 sister (who kicked him in the mouth) has complained as well that they are not allowed to eat at the house they eat at school brakfast and lunch. Yet every morning the mom runs and picks up her smokes and drink and chips.
The mother collects child support from both the oldest childs father as well as from my husband.
The mother called asking us where the child support check was. We told her we did not know as FOC deducts it from my husbands pay and it was clearly deducted. The mom called 4 days in a row asking this. On the fifth day a friday we were to pick up the child. The mom called and said "the check came so I have a hair appointment, if you guys want to see him come get him I wont be here." When we arrived she was there and she asked if we could go get his hair cut.
The mom admits to all this in court. The referee as well as the court has failed to act in the best interest of this child. The child says things like "we got a diferent car after daddy abandoned us"
The mom is trying to make the child feel unloved and abandoned. The child is so confused.
The father has no criminal record. Other then the false PPO and that is easy to disprove as he was at work most of the time she claimed the instances occured. She was coming to his job and calling he got two verbal warning and one written warning from his job for non-emergency personal calls from her. Yet she had a PPO on him!
Where is the FOC acting in the best interest of the child?
They want to colllect child support and fees, they want to burry you in paper work and all the type errors that cost more filing fees to fix.
The money could be better spent on the child in areas needed in his life.
The final blow is this my husband has three children from his high school sweet heart they wre never married. They have a Child support by Agreement through informal negotiations. (legal in this state) My husband has also been a single parent of his oldest son for 15 years. He never recieved child support. The referee did not take this matter into concideration when deciding to raise the monthly child support by over 200.00 a month.
The other issue he over looked was the mom petitioned for child support to pay for day cae of the child. The child has never been in day care as the mom has to work every other weekend and we have him at our home every other week end. The mom claims she wants to send him to latch key and day care. My husband dose not want his son in latch key or day care. The mom i not sending him any way. If she was my husband feels the son would do better spending time with his family over a stranger in some program.
The FOC has hurt more children then it has helped.
The lawyers seem to be in on it as well.
My husband paid his only to be told do not tell about this or that.
Then during court the attorney actualy left the proceeding to go across the hall to a second case he had!
My husband had to go in to give dates where his son stayed over six consecutve nights. Summer of 06 we had him the whole summer, summer of 07 we had him seven days on seven days off. The court can not even honor it's own rulings and it's own judges judgments.
Alexander's
Detroit, Michigan
U.S.A.
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