As a single mom ready to find love again, I purchased and read both of Neil Clark Warren's books, "Date or Soulmate? How to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less, " and "Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons: How to find your soulmate."
In his books, he strongly recommended that his readers sign up with eHarmony.com, as it was a unique online dating system that matched its users up on all 29 dimensions to make sure they would be a solid match.
I signed up on his website, eHarmony.com, and paid $239.40 USD for a one-year membership.
I set my geographical search parameters as "within 60 miles" of where I lived, as I am unable to relocate.
The first few days, I got 7 matches from my geographical area, and received one more from my geographical area a few months later, but that's it. The rest of the matches were from hundreds to thousands of miles away, which was not what I had specified in my geographical search parameter.
One of the 29 dimensions that Warren talks about being important for compatibility are physical appearances. Dimension #12, according to his book. "Appearances." He says that the best well-matched people need to be similar in appearance.
There was nothing similar about my matches appearances on eHarmony.in fact, there was a very significant difference in appearances. I was shocked.
Almost four months in, I tried to cancel my eHarmony account and in the "reason for cancelling" box, I told them why and said that I wanted a full refund. As a single mom, things are financially tight, and I didn't sign up to waste my hard-earned money on a heavily advertised website that doesn't deliver what it promises in its books and advertisements.
I received no response back from them, but suddenly my inbox was suddenly filled with new matches, 20 of them in 4 days. All of them from far away places, hundreds to thousands of miles away.
This is what eHarmony does on the sly (but never advertises): If you don't get matches based on your preferences and the 29 dimensions of compatibility as highly emphasized in Neil Clark Warren's books, they send you what they call "flex matches." Flex matches do not fit your search criteria, but they are matches that eHarmony "thinks" you should take a look at. It's how they keep the matches coming to keep you hopeful and hooked on their site.
Not only did I try to get a full refund for my membership, but I also wanted to delete my eHarmony profile altogether, so that no one could view it anymore. Well, if you're signed up for one year, they won't let you delete your profile until that one year membership expires. You're locked in, whether you want to be or not. To me, that's an invasion of privacy.
As a single mom, things are financially tight, and I'm really upset about being ripped off. As a Christian, I would have expected better from Neil Clark Warren, who also professes to be a Christian.
Please stay away from eHarmony. Your chances of finding the love of your life are much better on a free online dating website, even if you have to personally sift through some of the smut you find on there. The key is to be patient and street-smart. I wish you all of the best in your search for that special someone.
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