Tupper Lake's Inhabitants Tupper Lake is the town from hell! It can be best described as on the leading edge of the resurgence of the "New South". Deliverance doesn't have sh*t on TL!
I've been called a "flat-lander" and "city-boy" and such, based purely on my OBJECTIVE observations about the world's @$hole, AKA Tupper Lake.
Let me first start by refuting both these nicknames that I have had the pleasure of being graced with. One, I come from a town called Snohomish, its a farm town thats a mere 15 minutes from Everett; and Everett is just 10 minuties away from Seattle. So I'm not a city boy, just because I know how a normal town, and a decent sized city and their peoples conduct their everyday lives. Furthermore, Snohomish's elevation is roughly at 2000ft. Above sea-level! Higher than some of these LAUGHABLY named "High Peaks".
First and foremost I would like to address Tupper Laker's misconception that they live in the "mountains". Allow me to drop some knowledge on some of your dumb asses. A good rule of thumb to go by would be this, if you can build a road to the top, or construct a town on the top of it... ITS NOT A MOUNTAIN! WTF people, your stuck in the Ice Age's, in more than one way. Yes the Adirondacks at one time were a large and respectable mountain range, but these days its more of a foothill range, or a nice hiking destination where old rotten crotch grandma's and snot nosed kids come to spend a day hiking, and fool themselves into believing they accomplished something. Now, my observation here may be a bit biased, fore I come from Washington state where the Cascade mountain range bisects the state. Granted its not the BIGGEST range in the world, but at least it's highest peak clears the 16,000ft marker.
Now to move on to the inhabitants. Just because you people want to claim you live in the mountains, does not mean that you need to conduct your daily affairs as if you lived in a cave. I would like the reader of this (this only applies to you if you live in the town, and embrace it), to pleeeeaaase pull your head out of your ass, and take a deep, cleansing breath. Some of you may find that an offensive stench is interupting your cleansing breath, in that case, I implore you to wipe off your upper lip, then try again. This town must account for around 30% of Carhardt's merchandise! You can't escape the brand, no matter where you go. Also, one couldn't help but feel as if they were driving in a NASCAR race, except for the only numbers that are seen are 3, and 8... Go figure. Earnhardt's DEAD! He died cause he was an idiot and didn't wear his harness, do you people really feel the need to golorify this type of ignorance?
7 out of every 10 homes/trailers in this town are equipped with either a two-way radio, a scanner, and/or binoculars. Why, I asked myself when I stumbled across this fact. The answer is, because it seems to be the only thing that makes existance in this town almost bearable. You people spy on each other in an attempt to live your lives vicariously through others, only to find that their lives suck just as bad as yours. Even the local news papers publish the names, addresses, and a brief description of all the police, fire, and rescue calls! What in the hell is that!? I am willing to budge a bit and say that this isn't entirely Tupper Lake's fault, its kind of a tri-lakes thing, but the town is still guilty by association on this. Now normal towns, report NEWS, things about the economy, world events, and scandals of noteworthy proportions.in a Tupper Lake newspaper one could expect to see who shot the largest deer last week... Real noteworthy people.
Tupperlaker's seem to have their own vonacular as well, just as any other area in the world would. However, TL'ers vonacular isn't unique because of its elegance, words, (wurds) like nuttin' brefest, touch-hole, shit-the-bed, eh, f*, f*in, f*ed, and f*er. Im going to go on a tangent and explore why a deer's asshole is referred to as a "touch-hole". Just to OVER siplify this, why would a hunter (which would include 99% of the male population in Satan's asshole uhh I mean Tupper Lake) refer to a deers asshole as a TOUCH hole? Is it because theres a significant amount of affection or touching that is involved with it? Hmmmmm something I pondered the first time I heard it.
How many towns that you know of (excluding your own TL'ers) have to routinely defend themselves on the topic of inbreading? Why is it, that a man from Texas after reviewing TL's rip off reports says that this town "must be the town from hell!" Why is it that the majority of your rip off reports aren't about business at all, but rather about whos stickin who at the bar, who's the biggest slut, and who's the biggest drunk?
I also found it a bit peculiar that when I went into a local bar, and saw mullets abound, that I was the only person laughing! In fact, when I told somebody about it, they had no idea what a mullet was! Don't feel bad if you find yourself in this catagory, you probably have a mullet, its not your fault, you are a product of your environment. Also, if you don't know what a mullet is, do me a favor and make sure that your house is still securely placed on its blocks, they say a windstorm is blowin in. I also noticed a disposition towards "the south". And its not talking about "down state" haha, which is another topic altogether. No, rather I find that you people seem to enjoy poking fun at things like southerner's reputation for inbreading, bigotry, retardation, general SLOW pace, un-intelligable vonacular, etc. Now if you live in TL, I want you to take a moment, and try and remeber the last time you had to defend your hometown for ANY of these subjects haha. I'm sorry my downsyndrome looking friend, but you and the south have more in common then you'd like to admit...
What is Tupper Lake's main export? Besides drunks? If anybody has an answer I would really like to know, and don't bother trying to say logging, everybody knows all the logging is done in Canada and in the West now.
Its late now, and I'm finding it far too easy to pick this town apart, consider this installment one, of many! Please respond and refute if you can. Remember, spelling is going to be key for anybody to take your rebuttal seriously.
November CTupper Lake, New York
U.S.A.
Tupper Lake & Saranac Lake getting the long over due publicity it so richly deserves. Click here. Read about all the corruption on businesses, Police & Probation Department, Sunmount Developmental Ctr., Jack Delehanty Asst. District Attorney & much more!
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