Let's define "paralegal"
"An attorney's assistant, not admitted to the practice of law but trained to perform certain legal tasks." Jennifer, I am sure your employer would be delighted to know what you do on company time with company resources.
Sean is not dead, is not on his death bed, was not in a "near fatal" car accident or any other host of stories he may be spreading these days.
What Sean is more than likely doing is cavorting with multiple women and taking them for a less than joyous ride.
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