After trying to rehab myself for two years, I finally asked my family for help. My brother and sister-in-law made it possible for me to go to a long term rehab. I looked on the Internet for months until I found a referral number that we thought would give us more choices and find exactly what we were looking for. When I say we, I mean what my family wanted and felt was the right place for me and what I needed in all facets, emontional, physical, mental, medical and what made me feel safe. I was already educated on the text book drug addict. What I was looking for was a program that learned about me and helped me regain my self esteem, confidence and went the extra mile to make me feel I could do this. I had never asked for help and this was hard for me to let my family know I was a failure in many ways. My family was there for me in more ways then I could ever imagine.
When we recieved our first phone call I was greeted by a happy woman who made feel good. She said she was from Narconon in Southern CA. We chatted for a while as I asked every question I could think of. I basically said what is the day in the life of being in your facility. This is what I want, need and expect. Every question I asked was answered with yes, thats exactly what we do. Then told that each person had there program designed to fit there needs as we all have different reasons and our own stories. My brother wanted me closer to his home, he said how about Nothern CA. I was told they have one in Watsonville and givin a number and name of a man who never emailed my brother back. He was sceptacale at first until he finally recieved an email. I myself recieved many emails and phone calls from Narconons all over the US. I just thought they cared.
When I talked to someone from Vista Bay I asked if the program was the same and was told yes, we have Narconons all over the World. On there website it said there was a 24 hr nurse onsite and showed some of the pics from the facility. I asked "Do you really take us shoping twice a week to get personal products and things we may have forgot", that's what it stated on the website. I was told yes we do. That way you don't have to lug so much and your sure to get what you need. I was told that we all get a complete physical from there Doctor and that they were Certified Drug Rehab Consolers. There was a exercise program and a sauna program.
On April 21 I was to Vista Bay, only when I arrived it was not what I was told. I was asked questions by an Ethic's Officer if I or any member of my family have every said anything about Narconon or L Ron Hubbard. I said one family member doesn't seem likehe likes LRH, but you'll have to ask my family and what does this have to do with rehab? He just kept asking more questions and I just went a long with it.
By my first week in Book One "Theraputic Routines" HA HA, they mean Training Routines (TRs) Can you imagine people just off drugs for a few days being told to sit 3 feet in friont of another student (that's what were called) and stare at them for up to 1 hr, without moving or even looking away, for a pass to go to the next crazy step. Bullbaiting... To flaten ones buttons... I was hearing the most vulgar words out of people to get that person to move or flinch. I stoped at one point and told a young man if I hear those words again I will wash your mouth out with soap, there are ladys present in this room.
Well off to the sauna program after a week and a half of more rude and strange things. I was never told about the Niacin we were to take and how it would effect us. It burns, turns your body red and then itches. We start at 100mg and go to up to 5,000mg. Sweat for up to 5 hrs a day and take. There were so many people in the sauna by the time I started that part of the program we were stuffed in like sardines.
They have what theyt call Knowledge Reports (KR). I was told by a friend that I started the program with that Mr X came out of his room and said in front of a dozen people to start writting KRs on Mr Z and myself that we were taking off into the woods doing what ever you can think of, Mr X hated Mr Z and wanted him kicked out for good. I went to the Ethics office and said what in the H* is going on here? This is not high school this is my life I'm old enough to be some of these kids mother. Nothing was ever said again to me but I don't believe anything was said to the people who wrote these reports. I could have been kicked out for good after 3 weeks.
I kept asking when do I get to meet my Drug Consolor. I was told that they all were consolors and the one on one consoling was with another student.
I went to Placerville there other facility. I worked very hard to get through the program because it was all I had and my family put $29,000. I hade some other problems that made it hard for me to concentrate and back then even read a book. There were a couple of great people there who helped me and took the time to listen. Thank you S and J. I hated what I was learning because I didn't believe in most of it and as the Books got higher, they were so weird it seemed unreal. I thought the person who wrote this stuff must have been losing his mind. All the books said on the cover the works of L R Hubbard. I even asked if LRH or Scientology had anything to do with the program, I was told LRH helped write some of the text. I never asked if the Church owned it, just if it was the same beliefs.
I was to do these drills that were very hard for me to do because of me being unable to concentrate. I tried very hard and kept tring but when it became to hard and I felt worse then when I arrived, I had to stop. I asked for help but was yelled at and followed around like I was someone who wanted to destroy there program and couldn't be trusted. I know this sounds wierd it did to me when it started, I almost started to laugh and say "your kidding, right". Then I realized they weren't. I had asked to call my brother the whole day and was told wait a minute or let me finish this. I asked the director if I could use the phone and he said he would take care of it. After the day was almost over finally someone came me and said come on in the office. I thought my brother was on the phone but was told he didn't want to talk to me or have anything to do with me, I wasn't aloud in my familys homes and that was that. All I could think is that my family disowned me. I was then told they would take me to a Bus Station, Airport or Homless Shelter. My family lived 3 hours from there, I had no cell phone and only a little bit of cash in the bank. I had to leave 3/4 of my things there as I couldn't bring them on the Bus with me. I didn't know what to do or where to go. That was on Oct. 4. About 2 months later I tried to kill myself because I thought my family disowned me.
There is not enough staff to help, they are over the 40 people limit by there License, they rent houses and Apartments for people to live in then bus them in everyday. It's all about money. Long Beach Narconon in CA is losing there licsense for most of these violations. One is that they bus people in to use the sauna with the in patient residents. Vista Bay does the same thing and it's also located in the Mountians, if there was a fire who would they get all these people out safely?
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