Comcast
Satirical Phone Menu About Outages, Store Visits and Switching to Verizon

Alright, Comcast. Now it's MY turn.

Press 1 - If you would like me to pay your INSANELY over-priced cable bill even though the cable went out TEN TIMES this month and your "high volume" kept you from answering the phone.

Press 2 - If you want me to come to the Comcast store. I can be there some time between 8 am and 10 pm on Monday, Tuesday or Friday. Please make sure you are sitting around doing nothing ALL DAY so I can come at the last possible second and tell you that NOTHING IS WRONG!

Press 3 - If you would like to speak to an extremely irritable and unknowledgable operator who sounds "surprised" that no one will be able to come to your house in the next SIX months because the cable SUCKS and everyone needs their box fixed.

Press 4 - If you want me to bring my box back when I switch to Verizon FIOS cable instead of throwing it into the reservoir.

Press 5 - to bite me, comcast!

All other calls, please remain on the line. Your call will be answered in approximately 247 minutes.

Company: Comcast
Country: USA

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